Changing friends to CHANGE?!!

In the past, in my school years, I used to be friends with certain type of people only; those mostly people called us nerd, freak or what so ever. I comfortable to be with them and; for me I don’t like those people who knew only to socialized, to have fun and not serious towards their study. What a simple and ancient mind I have back then. Because of my primitive thinking, my school days past just like that without any memories to be hold. I am somewhat envy of my sister, looking at how she really enjoys her school life to the fullest.

I am writing here not to blame my friends, but instead to blame my way of thinking back then. When I started my life in college, I was forced to mix with those groups of people that I hate the most. As time pass by, I comes to realize their way of thinking. I understand them, and I myself, become one like them. Well, not really exactly like them. I am still me, but I did adapt something new as changes in my life. I changes from a dull, quite and loner type of person into a brighter and easy to get along girl. I am grateful to my friends for changing and making the “me” right now.

But tonight, once again, I thought of changing myself into a better person; to be precise, in becoming a better muslimah. Do I need to sacrifice my current friendship as a ticket to be a new me? I kept thinking on that. Or can I really change without changing my friends? Regardless of knowing that..in order to change, it must come from your inner desire and determination, I cannot do it alone. I need an environment which is supportive enough to do so. Sounds like an excuses huh..well never mind if you think so. This is my story! But one thing for sure I don’t want to give up both. I will do my best to hold onto my friendship and my dream. Someday I am sure I will get them. BE GREEDY<<cannot always apply this one though, BE POSITIVE, BE OPTIMIST.

this BLOG is for my FRIENDS

I have never been written a blog before, but this once I created special for my friends; to let this memory of mine remain here and can be shared with all, so I decided to show you what a friend really is through my writing. It’s all started from that night (24/12/10), I will remember of what happened to me for the rest of my life, a truly tragic, funny, touching incident that they drag me into.

On the night, sharp at 12 o’clock, I started to receive abundant of SMS, emails, and wishes; some even sang to me. Well, it’s a common thing to happen to every birthday girl; I guess. Forgot to mention, to be exact; it was my birthday that night. Of all wishes I received, there are few peoples that do not wish; my mom and my roommates. I’m not really sad even if my roomies forgot about it because; yeah…I thought that I would understand that they might try to remember but due to something they  forgot it ..poof..only just like that! We only knew each other about 1 ½ years. I can’t expect them to memorize my birthday..aren’t i? But for my mom..I truly depressed when she forgotten my birthday because we both were born in same month..

Morning comes and started my day as usual. I went to clinic….let’s just skipped this part and go straight to the climax. It’s kind of long if I need to describe in details. Well, here I go…after having lunch, I watched variety shows..it’s so funny that I can’t stop laughing. In the same time, I asked my one of my roomies, lets called her A; about our plan to watch NARNIA tonight via FB. Suddenly, she came to my room and said that she can’t go with me. She told me that she has to meet someone. I said IT’S OK to her with bitter smile that I put on my face. For real, I am actually was angry at her because..she promised me first then ..how could she still go and made another promise with another person. That was ridiculous...but what to do; I comforting myself by saying that the person she needed to meet is an important one. That is why she prefer that person over me.. I thought this day would be better even after my mom did not wished me last night..but it seems bad things just do not easily go away..isn’t it..

I continue watching the show until another roomies of mine came. This one is so called as Z. She asked me to accompany her to the bank and eat outside…Well, as for in my current state ( a little bit emotional and moody), of course I would say NO to her. But she kept, and kept asking and asking, like a child whining to get a toy from his mother. She kept pushing me until I was really annoyed and explode..KABOOM!! I screamed at her face..then I cried. I went to my best friends’ room. I cried not because of what she did to me but I cried because what I did to her..funny huh..i never yelled at somebody (friends) like that before..not even once..so when I did..I’m kind of shocked and afraid. Afraid of she won’t forgive me. I’m doomed if she won’t forgive me..why?..well for us muslim, if we fight or quarrel among us more than 3 days, it’s like breaking the bond of muslim brotherhood; and prophet hates it when it becomes like that. ..stop there..

At my best friends’ room (W and M) I told them everything from A to Z. They tried their best to cheer me up. They made on the spot plan about going out and watch NARNIA with me on that evening. I also said NO to them; even if I really wanted to go and watched the movie. They persuade me and kept doing so. So I told them, it is not about NARNIA, or about going out with them. It’s about fair and square. I just refuse to go out with Z; how can I now accept their offer. I can’t do that! What if, when I walk at the mall with them then I saw Z.?? How am I going to explain to her.. then after battling on either wanting to go to the mall or not to go, I finally defeated…here my mission started. At any cost, I need to avoid all my roommates, A,Z and F.. I made up my mind, only by not meeting them then I will go to the mall..

I went back to my room bare footed because I’m afraid they will realized my presence if they saw my slippers outside the room..after went into the room, I changed my clothes and went downstairs..but..gasp.OMG..what to do?!! It’s her car right there in front of me, so I quickly hide behind the vending machine hoping that she did not notice me. Luckily when I peek out at the car, Z was not there…haha I’m safe. I decide to use the back road in order to prevent meeting her at front building..finally I manage to get into W’s car. Again I did something stupid. I lay down at back seat in the car..wishing that nobody saw me go out of UIA…

At the mall, we bought the ticket..W’s said that we are going to eat. I thought of PIZZA HUT, but she told me..NO, WE’RE GONNA EAT OUTSIDE..outside?..i just followed them with full of questions in my head..finally we arrived at seafood restaurant….i never thought that they would bring me here because I told them before that I don’t want to eat seafood. But because of we are already there..i just let it be..

We went upstair of the restaurant..i’m stunned..my eye caught three figures that I know very well at the corner of the restaurant..OMG..it’s them..panicked..i’m thinking of running away..but W and M already grabbed me and thus locked my moved..My roommates came to me with a cake hold onto their hand. They sung birthday song to me..at that time..truly, I’m ashamed of myself, after all bad things I did to them, they actually prepared this surprised party for me…SORRY GUYS..i kept apologizing to them. Of course I need to; I screamed at Z before, I angry with A, and I doubt of F,W,and M..so we had our dinner ant eat till we barely can move…happy ending..

The story not end yet, that night I called my mom. I asked her, why did she did’nt wish me after I called her twice that day..i’m not mad at her..how could I. a daughter to get mad at her own mom..i’m just want to know the reason..then my mom told me that she did text me on 24^th night…but what makes us puzzled..i did not get the message..i’m  happy that she told me that she never forgot my birthday..mom! you’re the best..with that my day end with happy and tragic moment..

Special thanks to my roommates Aainaa, Zira, Fasihah and my BFF Wan Amalina and Mahirah..also to my family..appreciate your friends and family because they are truly the ruby of your heart.